You are you’re biggest critic.

Just like every other virgo, I am a perfectionist.

No matter the task, I want to be the best. Even if I have zero experience with something, for some odd reason, I just think I’m going to pull through and be a natural. And when it doesn’t work out, I get frustrated. I’ve struggled with this flaw for years. I don’t expect it to disappear over night but working at it one day at at time is a step.

It all started with planning our next date night. Usually, we have dinner and see a movie (typically anime related haha) but to switch things up, le boyfriend suggested a paint and wine. At first I was all gun-ho, I love art, so why not?

Untitled

“She Walks” — what we would be painting.

When I saw that canvas, I nearly died. I was trying to psych myself up, “shouldn’t be too difficult Ariel. You’ve painted before.” YEA IN SEVENTH GRADE. Meanwhile, as I experienced internal screaming, I put on a smile, sipped some wine and tried to get lost in the canvas. But soon,  I was lost in my thoughts and questioning every stroke of the paint brush. I was constantly comparing my work to my boyfriend’s. I was getting jealous at his confident brush strokes. I was slowing dying. My work was not living up to my potential. I was getting so frustrated. This is supposed to be fun they said.

Though our instructor, a very young looking girl (I forgot her name) was very helpful, and offered great advice and positive feedback for when I started to feel in the dumps. Not saying I felt immediately better but her kind words really helped me finish the painting.

 

I know my painting isn’t the best, but looking back I realize that I should not be so hard on myself. I don’t need to compare myself or my work to anyone’s – it’s my own and I should be proud of it. I really enjoyed the painting experience and would love to try it again. I’m not going to go buy paint and brushes so I suck less next time, but instead I’m going to focus on the point of having fun in trying new things — and definitely sip more wine next time.

 

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